Saturday, February 20, 2010

Our Renee......

I feel like I've been hit by lightening....Every time I see Circling My Head Blog ... I feel my heart swell with loneliness and longing...thankful that there is no news yet about our sweet angel Renee


My dear friend and gypsy sister is dying and my heart is breaking. There are 100's of hearts breaking around the world for Renee. I cannot keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. A stray thought of Soundless Saturdays, Wednesday Women, Fantasy Friday.... Fuck that. and the tears begin again...

It's almost impossible to think that she won't be in this world... She'd have a witty comment and fuck that if I told her.She was so loving and strong for so many of us.

About 8 months ago I told Renee I was a gypsy and I'd bring my gypsy caravan to her and we'd head out on wild adventures. I'd be her personal chef... we had many correspondence around our travels.
http://www.travelinggypsycaravann.blog spot was born... We will always be traveling together.


Black birds circled Renee's head and bats rattled around in her stomach.  I'll never ever look at a bat or black bird, crow, raven or the common starling again in the same way.
Please light a candle for this dear angel of a woman..... I love you Renee.

27 comments:

ODD imagination said...

Awww... Pattee!!! I wish I had the privelage to know Renee like you do. It is such a small world and I only recently ran into her blog. I will spend some more time there so I can see the "real" Renee. I lit my candle in my heart for your dear friend.

Sharon-NZ said...

Candle lit Pattee. Its a lovely scented one.

Deborah said...

Beautifully said, Pattee. Renee will be able to see the caravan candles lighting the way, and the image will make her smile. Only love remains. All my love to you, friend of our Beloved Renee.
**kisskiss** Deb

Sophia said...

My heart is aching for her as well. She has also touched my life and remembered me in the lows of my life and dealing with my own personal health issues over the past few months. I burn my candles today for her as well.

essie said...

Oh dear Pat, I'm so so sorry.
Of course I lit a candle for Renee.
My thoughts are with all you who loved Renee so dearly.

Big hugs sweetie.

Sue said...

Pattee, I had to go out this afternoon and run some errands. This was after reading Angelique's latest update on Renee. I could not get Renee off my mind and had to leave one of the stores I was in due to the tears in my eyes.

I stumbled upon Rennee's blog over a year ago and am so glad that I became friends with this incredible amazing woman. She is an angel to so many of us.

I have lit a 'real' candle for her and also a virtual one on my blog.


Sue

yoborobo said...

Pattee - I know that your caravan made Renee laugh, and smile, and what a wonderful thing that is. We all just love her so much - it seems impossible that that isn't enough to keep her here. I am blessed to have known her, and to have met so may wonderful people through her. You know, I think she was introducing us to each other all along. :)) Much love to you, and I am lighting a candle for our dear friend. xoxox Pam

Marie S said...

I am so sorry your heart is breaking. I love you Pattee.
Renee loved you very much!

oldblackcatboo said...

Pattee, I do not know Renee, after reading your post, I went to her blog and read a bit of it with tear filled eyes. I had to stop because it brought back memories of my own mothers battle with cancer. Life is so incredibly unfair and cruel. I wish I could ease your pain and sorrow.
I will light a candle for Renee.
I wish I would have been able to know such a beautiful person.
She will be in my prayers. - Cindi

Kaerie Faerie said...

lighting candles and Sending Faeries on the wind to help, look for the sparkles
Karey

TheBlakkDuchess said...

Pattee,

Hugs & kisses. My heart breaks for you & all the others Renee's life has touched. I've only 'spoken' with her a handful of times, but her sweetness filled me with happiness. As long as we remember those we love & honour their memories, they will never totally leave us. I'll light a candle on my altar & pray for her & all who love her. Love & hugs, Pattee, and comfort from all of us who love you, in this time of sorrow.

Janine said...

Pattee, I copied your candles for my blog...I thought that was what you meant. I should have clarified it and have done so. It is just so sad and your loving gesture is passed on at my blog. I hope you don't mind. Let me know.

Sarah said...

I love her so too hon..what a beautiful post. I am a weepy mess..can't seem to get my feet under me..I am heartbroken and a bit lost at present. Gently loveing hugs to you my friend. This is beautiful! Love, Sarah

kj said...

hello pattee

it's me, kj. your heart and gypsy sister, feeling what you feel.

we are going to find that renee had these incredible one on one relationships with special friends all over the world.

we are going to learn that those special relationships gave to renee as much as she gave back.

pattee, we made the last year of her life magical and special and so very loving.

how could we ask for more?

we just want her to be painfree, to be at peace, to remember to 'talk' to us one way or another for the rest of our lives.

we, together strong.

love you pattee,
kj

yoborobo said...

Pattee - I am just stopping by to give you a hug. I can hear in your words how broken you feel. Me, too. My heart is all crumbled. I know she loved you so much. Just typing that sentence made me smile, because Renee loved all her friends so much. How amazing. :) Big hug to you - xoxoxox Pam

Lisa Gatz said...

Pattee...somehow or another I got to Renee's blog last night and I spent hours and hours reading her posts. I don't know what to say except that she has incredibly touched my life. I'm a survivor of breast cancer and I'm sometimes overcome with the fear of it recurring. I find grace and authenticity in her writing. I find that today I'm thinking of her and wishing to be more like her.

I hope that your heart is comforted today, Pattee.

Sonia ;) said...

Pattee......I am hugging you my dear friend. All I can say is let it out. Renee will be with you everyday, in love, spirit, and fuck now and then Har Har.

Hugging you xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxox

Caroline said...

Sending hugs and blessings your way.

Sarah said...

That is a beautiful post for Renee. I love her too Pattee. I can't believe it either.
Sarah xx

Deborah said...

Awe, Pattee, I just read your comment to Ces about her fantastic Gypsy Wagon rendition and had to run over and send a cyber hug to you. Feel my arms around you. We are all in spirit, gathered around her bed, standing just behind The Family, holding them up.
**kisskiss** Deb

Pretty Things said...

I've just learned of her through another friend. I'm so sorry you're going through this. :-(

Iva Wilcox of Iva's Creations said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know it well. She will be in your heart always. I will light a candle tonight for your dear friend and for many of those loved ones we have lost along this bumpy road of life.
~ Iva

Jacque said...

I am so very sorry to hear this. She sounds like a beautiful person who will be missed by so many. It is so hard to lose friends to this terrible disease. One of my friends was diagnosed about a month ago with stage 4 breast cancer and is just starting through all of the chemo and testing. I pray for her daily.
I will light a candle for Renee and for you, too.

D.Suplicki said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. I went over to read her blog and had to stop as tears are now streaming. She is an inspiring woman and the world will be a worse place for loosing her. I've lit candles and am sending love, light and strength to the both of you.

Monkey-Cats Studio said...

So sorry to hear about your pain and that of Renee's. She was an inspiration to so many and think of the gift you were to each other.
Hugs Pattee.
Laurie

Lynn said...

Pattee, This is a very hard time for both you and Renee. Cancer sucks! I cared for my mother in law for 8 months after she was at stage 4. As of today I still do not understand our society and the suffering people go through before death. The most important thing is that she can get her pain under control. Pain control is so important, it seems that the doctors worry about the prescription and getting in trouble with the law.
Though she may not want to, hospice was the only ones that were able to keep the pain in control. So much that she was able to enjoy outings to bingo ect. Try to enjoy the time you two can spend together. Even crying together is good for both of you. There will be good days and bad ones keep the communications with her going strong. Sometimes people are uneasy talking with people that are in their last stages of life because they just do not know what to say. I know that she lives far from you, so an option to keep in touch, allowing you to see each other and talk without any additional cost would be to use a service called SKYPE. All you need is a computer a web cam and access to the internet. Sign up and it is free. Sorry if I am going on but anger will not help anything, enjoy the good times she has, or make good times for her. Love and Kisses Lynn

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